


A Simple Mistake

by in_a_blog_in_the_ground



Series: One-Shots [8]
Category: The Hobbit (Jackson Movies), The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Multi, for my own amusement
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-30
Updated: 2013-12-30
Packaged: 2018-01-06 19:05:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,081
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1110449
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/in_a_blog_in_the_ground/pseuds/in_a_blog_in_the_ground
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Third-party interpretations are sometimes pretty great.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Simple Mistake

**Author's Note:**

> Some town, somewhere. Some mercenaries from somewhere else. The setting is not altogether important XD
> 
> Indirectly prompted by the wisdom of tumblr:
> 
> “bulletbakas:
> 
> ain’t no friendship like a friendship where you’re either confused as siblings or gay lovers”

“Wot are we still doin’ ‘ere?” Nori’s voice dripped boredom. He was sitting on a bench under the covered patio leading out to the courtyard behind the pub. His arms were hooked over the low dividing wall as he leaned against it, and his head was tilted back as far as he could stretch it, idly puffing out breaths to watch them float away on the frosty air. He missed his pipe. Damned goblins.

“Keepin’ a watch,” Dwalin growled across from him, ignoring Nori’s inflated sigh of exasperation in response. The warrior was miserable. He hated the cold. He hated inaction. And mostly he hated listening to Nori complain every five minutes. How he managed to pull watch duty with the thief again was beyond him. He settled for sipping at his mulled wine and suspiciously eyeing a group of mercenaries that had just entered the yard and were settled around the still courtyard fountain, seemingly immune to the cold. One climbed to the top tier and stood perched victoriously upon it as his fellows called out japes and curses in their strange tongue, all of them laughing raucously at his antics. Finally their leader, a woman dressed in scarred red leathers, called him down and sent him in with a pouch of money for drinks. She smiled with the rest of them and shook her head indulgently. Apparently this was not uncommon behavior.

At the sound of their voices, Nori’s head tilted back up and he listened with it cocked to one side, staring blankly at the table as he frowned and concentrated.

“What is it? What are they saying?” Dwalin hissed in what he thought was a subtle manner, leaning across the table.

“Shh.” Dwalin pulled back. Nori had actually put up a finger in front of his face. To shush him. As if he were a dwarrowling. Dwalin wasn’t sure what to be offended at first.

“’Aven’t ‘eard _that_ speech in ages,” Nori said with a strange smile on his face. Without further explanation, he turned around, jumped the wall, and strode confidently towards the Men, hailing them in their same language. Startled, their expressions as they regarded him ranged from amusement to outright suspicion.

Their leader kept a carefully blank face as she answered him. _“Well met, Master Dwarf. It is unusual for us to hear the speech of our land coming from…one of your people.”_

 _“Yeh, passing few Dwarves to be seen, time I was there last,”_ Nori acknowledged, drawing further raised eyebrows from the mercenaries. They were under the impression it was unusual for a Dwarf to travel far from their rocky fortresses, much less as far as their homeland. And to have picked up their language…Nori’s phrasing was questionable, but his accent was passable and his meaning clear. One of the younger lads was visibly impressed, but a sharp glance from an older man who looked to be his father wiped the astonishment from his face.

The mercenaries were still unsure, but a sudden bark of laughter from their leader drew their attention.

_“A pity, to be sure! What are you called, Master Dwarf?”_

_“Nori, service to you,”_ the thief answered with a grin and a bow. _“And yours, Lady?”_

 _“Syne,”_ the woman replied, smiling and dipping her head in return.

Nori’s grin grew.

-

What could they possibly be talking about? The woman seemed almost charmed by the thief, and that was a mystery in and of itself. Dwalin nursed his drink as he glowered at the pair. Nori gestured, and the woman leaned down to hear what he was whispering, straightening with a sly smile and a reply of her own that caused the dwarf to laugh quietly and turn slightly red at the ears. No one else seemed to be paying them much attention.

“Better no’ be runnin’ his mouth too much,” Dwalin mumbled darkly into his tankard.

-

 _“So, what say ye?”_ Nori finally asked, cocking an eyebrow.

 _“Indeed, Master Dwarf, I would be more inclined to take you up on your…offer…if not for your man glaring at me so ferociously,”_ she said with a sly glance over Nori’s shoulder, and a grin that showed all her teeth. _“He’s big, for a Dwarf,”_ she went on with an appreciative look up and down before focusing back on Nori, giving him a wink, _“I wouldn’t want to step on his toes.”_

 _“My…man…? What’re you-”_ Utterly confused, Nori half-turned and unintentionally made eye contact with Dwalin, who did indeed have a ferocious glare on his face, arms crossed over his wide chest, and scowling across the yard. Nori frowned in continued confusion for only a moment before his eyes slowly widened and his face flushed a remarkable shade of crimson. He spun around hurriedly and sputtered, _“Ah! No! We’re not…he’s not…”_

The mercenaries laughed uproariously and headed towards the inn. Syne paused to blow Nori a cheeky kiss before going in herself.

Nori stood steaming in the cold air for a moment before turning on his heel and stomping back towards the patio.

“What happened? What was all that abou’?” Dwalin asked as Nori passed to resume his seat on the bench.

“Don’t-” Nori warned, putting up a finger to stall any further questions before burying his face into his now-chilly wine.

Dwalin stared, puzzled, at his back when a mild voice spoke up behind him with a hint of laughter. “She thought you were his lover fer how fiercely you were scowlin’ across at them. She must’a thought you were getting’ a wee bit jealous.”

Dwalin moved aside to see who had spoken up, and there was an audible crack as Nori’s head snapped up to stare daggers at Bofur. The miner casually took a sip of his drink, but the shaking of his shoulders betrayed how hard he was trying to stop himself bursting out in laughter.

The contents of tankards sprayed everywhere as Nori launched himself across the table with a roar, tackling Bofur and bringing him to the ground. Cackling and crowing, Bofur extracted himself and escaped out into the yard, clutching his hat to his head as Nori ran after, spitting threats and curses.

Standing alone under the covering, Dwalin stood quietly sipping what was left of his drink and watching the chase; Bofur slung snowballs over his shoulder, and Nori nimbly dodged almost every single one. Strangely, the cold did not seem to bother the warrior as much as it had earlier…


End file.
